Lack of motivation

It is just a week until Christmas, and I have a group of friends coming over tonight for Bunco, but I am utterly unmotivated to do all the things I “should” do in preparation.  My “to do” list looks like this:

1. grocery shopping —yes, I was supposed to do this yesterday but other things came up so I put it off til today
2.  cooking — I am making soup and chocolate dipped pretzels for tonight
3.  chores — I have beds to make, laundry to fold, dishes to put away, vacuuming to do, etc.
4.  Christmas cards—-I have yet to get any written out much less mailed
5.  wrapping—-I have not yet wrapped a single gift, even though I have said at least three times that I was going to get started on it
6.  packages to mail—I have three boxes I need to get together and get in the mail if I want the recipients to get them for Christmas
7.  odds and ends shopping—I think I have 4 more gifts to buy

So, these are the 7 most pressing things I need to get done–probably within the next 48 hours and I have absolutely no motivation to do so.  Instead I have a “want to” list:
1. be lazy in my pj’s with my kids
2. continue working on a scarf that I am trying to crochet
3. read the pile of books I have been “saving” for during the break
4.  work on my pottery
5.  see some movies
6.  get a pedi
7.  hang out with friends and family

It just seems that this year the “have to’s” of the holidays seem so less important.  Really, are my friends going to love me any less, or have less of a good time at my house tonight if I don’t vacuum before they come over?  (Although–they might miss the food–I guess I’d better take care of that one!)  Or will the Christmas cards be any less welcome in the mail if they become New Year’s cards?  And gift bags were invented for a reason, right? 

A friend of mine lost his son a few months ago to H1N1.  The little boy was younger than Christopher.   Somehow I don’t think my friend and his wife are thinking about their ‘to do’ list but rather thinking of the times they spent hanging out in pjs with their son and wishing there were more times that they could spend with him.  So, if you are reading this you are probably on my Christmas card list, you are probably on my gift list, and you may be coming to my house tonight.  I hope that you will overlook the tardiness of your card and/or gift, and ignore the dust on  my furniture.  Instead, I hope  you will know that I am focusing on what is fleeting and enjoying the moment.  I am working on my “want to’s” rather than the ‘to do’ list. 

I hope each of you know you hold a special place in my life and that I love you.  I hope your Christmas is joyful and that 2010 brings you blessings and happiness. 
Much love,
Tracey

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