E’s five years old. At this age, I thought—I don’t know why, that we would be past the “use your words” phase but we aren’t. He really struggles with his temper and frustration. And when he gets angry and frustrated he does things that get him in trouble. For example, if he gets frustrated with his brother he will tend to grab, pinch, kick, etc. If he gets frustrated with me or his daddy, he will slam doors, throw a fit, etc. We have talked to him NUMEROUS times about, if/when you get angry you need to use your words and talk to mom and dad. Throwing a fit is not a good choice and it gets you in trouble. etc, etc, etc, etc.
Tonight we were at my mil’s house for supper. He got angry because I told him that we were leaving in 5 minutes. Rather than tell me that he wasn’t ready to go, he decided to go into one of the bedrooms, slam the door, and then bang on it from the other side. This resulted in his being carried from the house, crying. On the way home we had a talk about how he made a mistake and made a bad choice. And that when we make a bad choice, there are consequences. But, what is important is to learn from the mistake and then not make the same mistake again.
So he came home crying. Put on his pajamas, ate some popcorn, watched Billy the Exterminator, and promptly fell asleep.
Now in his defense, he has been awake since 5 a.m. (because he is CRAZY) and had no nap, and had a long full day at school. So he was very tired, over tired, and he does not function well when he is tired.
The point of this story is that is a sweet loving boy and I hate it when we have nights like this. I hate for him to cry like that, or throw a fit. I am not a spanker. It is not that I don’t think that there might be a time/place for a swat on the bottom (in fact i have met many a child that I thought would benefit from a spanking) but I try to teach the boys through direct consequences so that they can learn that their actions have results–both positive and negative.
Which leads me to this question—have you ever been asked, or heard someone asked “Do you want me to give you something to cry about?” I think that may well be the stupidest question every asked. If I am crying, obviously I already have SOMETHING to cry about and your intervention, in whatever form, is not going to make me stop crying, so why are you asking that dumb question? I mean really, do you think the crying child is going to say “yes, actually I WOULD like you to give me somethign to cry about. What I’ve got goign on here now isn’t really working for me” Seriously—-a stupid question.
I’ve got so many craft projects in the works this weekend. Hopefully, I can finish some and get them posted this week.
Enjoy your high school football Friday night!