mmm, he’s not Charlie Parker yet

As I type I am being serenaded by the sound of an alto sax being played by a saxaphonist with 1 week of experience with the instrument.  If you live within a 100 mile radius of my house, don’t worry that is not an animal in pain that you are hearing, it is my first year band student.  Please don’t think that I am not supportive of his musical pursuits.  I am, I would maybe just prefer to support while he practices in the band hall. 
Speaking of kids and the requirements of school—Deb over at McCormick Madness has a great post today about the torture that is homework.  My first grader has homework every single night.  This is supposed to be an “opportunity for individual time with (my) child”  Umm, yeah, I’d rather not spend this time doing homework.  Let me sketch the scene for you…
Me:  Evan get your homework out of your folder so we can get it done
Evan:  I need to go to the bathroom
Me:  Evan get your homework now and get started
Evan:  I need a snack
Me:  Evan get the homework and your pencil
Evan:  I need..
Me:  NO! You NEED to go get your homework NOW!!
Evan:  OK!! you don’t have to YELL!!

Child gets homework
Me:  Ok, the first one says that you need to match up the pictures with the sound they start with….
Evan:  (enormous sigh)
Me:  No wait, you drew a line from “spl” to a picture of the plant.  Does plant start with the spl-uh sound?
Evan:  MOOOOM, I can do it, you don’t have to help me.
Me:  (now I sigh) you need to erase those letters and rewrite them with your best handwriting.  See, look at the model and do it like that

Me:  OK, now lets start on the math.  Trace the numbers.  No, wait, slow down, use your good handwriting. 
Evan:  (even larger sigh)
Me:  the next one says to fill in the numbers between 1 and 5
Evan:  I KNOW mom!!
Me:  Now you need your blue, red, and green crayons
Evan:  (gets up to get crayons from the drawer)  What color?
Me:  red, blue and green
Evan:  I can only find red and green
Me( big sigh) look again son, I know it is in there
Evan:  there is no blue
Me:  (go look in the drawer and find the blue crayon)  here—now get back up there and get busy
Evan:  Fine

Me:  Let’s read the book.  Start here
Evan:  (throws himself on the sofa.  rolls around as though writhing in pain) I can’t!  You have to read it to me. 
Me:  No, you need to sit up and sound it out.  i will help you if you get stuck
Evan:  (insert sobbing here)   I can’t!  It’s too hard!! I can’t read it!!
Me:  (through gritted teeth) sit up and read it now or your daddy is going to help you with your homework.
Evan:  noooooo, not daddy
(note:  daddy does nothing to him, he just knows that dad will not put up with any of his foolishness)

This is a sample of the picture every day.  Grrrrrrr….and it’s only the 3rd week!

And then, after the 1st grade wrangling, I get to go and check the 6th graders homework.  Yeah, I don’t remember 6th grade math including algebra, or that it was this stinking hard!  If we make it through the end of the year without hiring someone to help him with the  math, it will be a miracle. 

Homework stinks!!!!


One thought on “mmm, he’s not Charlie Parker yet

  1. Ryan is only four and he knows everything there is to know in life so I CANNOT wait two more to start doing homework! I'm sure he will just flat out tell me that I'm stupid and to back away from the table!The things we do for love…

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