the stuff kids do

me “Evan!  Evan! Eeee-vvvaaaaann!”
him “yes?”
me “are you in the Vicks?”
him—-silence for 1, 2, 3, 4 “umm, yes?”
me, sigh “put it up and stay out of it”
him “oh, ok”

Really?  What normal kid is in his room playing and slathers himself with Vicks? 

him” Mom, I have to make a snowman for school”
me “Ok, well, I’ve got paper and stuff in my craft room”
him “No, it has to have candy on it”
me “What?”
him  “we have to decorate it and make it look cool.  it has to have candy on it”
me “how about we use that sparkly foam stuff you got to make snowflakes”
him “No, cuz that’s white”
me “yeah, isn’t that good?  snow is white”
him  “I TOLD you it has to look cool and decorated.  so it can’t be white”
me—I have crossed my eyes and am working to understand a conversation I have apparently missed in some part
him—removing 2 marshmallows from the Lucky Charms he is eating “see these two rainbows?  I will use these for the eyes”

Lord, please help me, obviously I am in need of assistance. 

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