Why I am running for President

or governor, or mayor, or some job with power over people and the stupid things they do.  Today in particular we are going to address the things people do when they drive.  The things they do while driving that annoy me. 
Let’s begin with where my day begins… taking my kids to school. 

1st:  The sign at the driveway says “right turn only from 7:30 to 8:05”  That means that at 7:58 you CANNOT turn left.  Learn to read! and tell time!

2nd:  there are two lanes in front of the school.  The lane closest to the curb is for DROP OFF.  That means you drive up, your kid jumps out, and you keep going.  the second lane is for cars to drive through so that they can exit.  Do NOT park in either lane!!! If you need to park then do so IN A PARKING SPACE.  And when you drive up to the curb to drop off your child, make sure they are ready to get out.  No one wants to wait while little precious packs her back pack and gives you 25 more good byes.  The drop off lane is like being a paratrooper, the kids need to be ready to JUMP!
Oh! and one more thing.  You  need to move your bloomin’ car when your kid gets out.  Get out of the WAY!

Now we are going to move on across town to the grocery store.
3rd:  When you see the lady in the turning lane, waiting to turn in to the grocery store parking lot, it is nice, when you stop at the red light, to leave a gap to let the lady in to the parking lot.  Just sayin’ jerk face. 

4th.  When you see someone trying to back out of a parking spot, and when there are 8 open parking spots in the area around you, it is nice to turn into an open spot rather than waiting behind the car trying to leave while you wait for someone else who is preparing to leave a spot, ONE spot closer to the store than the other 8 empty ones!

Now let’s take those groceries home…

5th:  If I wanted to hear whatever that noise is that you have blasting from your speakers, I would play it in my car.  But I’m NOT playing it in my car, so I DON’T want to hear.  Thanks for sharing though, now turn it DOWN!!

6th:  I am so glad that you saw your best friend forever as the two of you were passing each other on the way down the street,  But do you think the two of you could possibly roll up your windows and quit blocking the road?  Maybe you could go and have coffee rather than catching up while blocking traffic?

Gotta get back to school….
7th:  See THAT sign?  Yeah, it says that from “7:30 to 8:30 AM this driveway is for EXIT ONLY”  Got that?  That means at 3:00, people are coming IN this driveway.  So don’t honk at me loser when you don’t read the sign and are going OUT the IN side of the driveway.  And DON’T wag your finger at me either!!!

8th:  Do I really need to explain the drop off lane again?

I think at this point in the day, I should point my car toward home and stay there.  Before I cause harm to someone.  Because I don’t think campaigning from jail will get me elected. 🙂

Blessings friends,


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